Re-entry

Christmas is over--now what?

Release and Gather

has arrived at the 47th and final newsletter of 2022, and wow—you’re still reading! I started this little venture as a way to reclaim my longtime love of writing and sharing stories, and having you here each week has kept me disciplined. Thank you. And welcome, new subscribers, T., yewtree, and Mark W. I hope you’ll stick around and join the wonderful discussions in the comments section of each post. That’s where I learn the most.

I’ve been asked several times how Release and Gather has such “a booming comments sections.” I don’t have a magic formula. I just know you readers bring a lot to the table, and you show up often.

As of today, there are seven paid subscribers here, which seems like a small number, but it means the world to me that you’re supporting my writing financially—especially since all of my content is (and will remain) free. You’ve helped fund:

• some of my expenses to donate stem cells for my brother’s transplant¹

• a young man’s supplies for transitioning from home to JobCorp

• books for our Little Free Library²

• ingredients for a few meals for some older community members

You rock, AC, CR, SF, JM, HS, DL, and SH! I can’t wait to tell you how your paid subscriptions are impacting this little corner of Mississippi in 2023 as we get community events going again at our event venue.³

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Christmas Joy

We enjoyed some really great pizza at our favorite place on Christmas Eve.

We started the week with four of our adult kids still here for the Christmas holiday. When they were younger, I treated them to French Toast for breakfast, but this year I decided to try an overnight French Toast casserole to save time in the kitchen. Everyone enjoyed it, but it needs some tweaking before their next visit. I’ll let you know when I finally have a version worth sharing. Or if you’ve already mastered this dish, don’t keep it to yourself!

Since Christmas fell on Sunday, we planned to go to church before heading out to a family gathering. Our friend Aeroplane told us a couple of days prior that he wanted to join us.⁴ Here’s the thing about Aeroplane—he regularly expresses his intention to go to church with us then doesn’t go. We don’t get our knickers in a bunch over it, but we’ve learned to take his requests with a grain of salt. In all the times he's said he wanted to go, he’s never actually followed through.

After 70 years of hard living, Aeroplane is also a bit forgetful, so when he walked up to our porch in 35-degree weather at 10:15 on Christmas morning, donning a bright red suit and tie, no one was surprised that he had forgotten what time Mike told him we’d pick him up (10:40). He had walked “uptown” an hour earlier and waited until he saw movement at our house.⁵ We invited him in and supplied him with coffee while he visited with the kids and threw out one-liners that had them in stitches.

And then Aeroplane went to church with us.

We sang hymns like “Go Tell It on the Mountain,” “Joy to the World,” and “Glory, Glory to the Newborn King.” We read the Christmas story from Luke 2. We clapped, we praised, we prayed. And there in the pew beside me, I heard a sniffle as the pastor recognized that the holiday may be difficult for some who have lost loved ones this year. Aeroplane’s 91-year-old mother died just after Christmas last year, and I knew he was thinking of her when I stole a glance and saw tears in his eyes. I reached over and squeezed his hand.

After service, I asked him to have lunch with us at our extended family gathering if he didn’t have plans, an invitation I’ve extended many times but he’s always declined. Until this time.

After an afternoon of too much food and loads of laughter, we took Aeroplane home as the light was fading. I apologized for not having a gift for him. We usually try to get him a warm shirt or coat or a new pair of work shoes.

“Don’t be sorry,” he insisted. “That was the best gift you could have given me—spending Christmas Day with your family.”

I don’t know why we complicate Christmas and twist it into something that looks nothing like it was intended. It’s really simple—love and presence. God with us. God through us.

Put these two together, and the world can’t be saved from their jokes!

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So now what?

I’ve read so many thoughts this week about the space between Christmas and the new year. Some writers are reflecting on 2022, others are drafting resolutions for 2023, and many are doing both. Some folks are basking in the downtime by reading or binging shows or enjoying time outdoors. Others are continuing their holiday with more gatherings and vacations. Here are a few posts I’ve enjoyed:

My Year in Books by John Dobbs

More Spaghetti I Say by Mary McKnight

The Space Between by Jen Zug

Burn It! by Sophie Lucido Johnson

End of the…start of the…well, in between by Mark Dykeman

Happy New Year! by Mark Fyve

The Deer at Tensas by John Dobbs

How I’m spending Dead Week by Austin Kleon

Janus and the Magic of my New Year’s Day Ritual by Jan Peppler

Learning how others spend their time after the Christmas holiday and prepare for the turn of the year inspires me to consider my own use of the week. After three full days of family togetherness, I’ve spent the remainder of it recharging—mostly on the sofa—and that’s okay. Even extroverts need downtime and naps (lots of naps!).

Movies

We saw The Whale (phenomenal acting, but a difficult unfolding to watch) and Raold Dahl’s Matilda the Musical (four words: Emma Thompson as Trunchbull). We’d hoped to see A Man Called Otto but alas, it’s not showing near us. We’re on the fence about seeing The Fabelmans or The Menu while they're still in theaters—so let me know if you feel strongly about either of those.

Books

I read my first ever Agatha Christie novel after realizing I’d never actually tried one (I wasn’t blown away). I’ve been reading Liberation Day by

George Saunders

and am a little surprised by how much I'm enjoying the stories.⁶ I’m also halfway through I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy and don’t want to put it down, but once I do, I’ll be moving on to Persuasion by Jane Austen.

Food

I’ve been eating lots of comfort food, including this Instant Pot Red Beans and Rice, and so. much. freaking. cheese. What is it with holidays and cheese?! We’ll meet our friends for a New Year’s Eve dinner at a Mexican restaurant, so I’m sure there’ll be more cheese before I close out 2022.

This dinner isn’t a tradition, but I’ve gotta say that the six of us have dined together on NYE at this same restaurant a number of times over the last decade so it’s starting to feel like one. It’s the kind of outing where we’re home and in our comfy clothes by 8:00, asleep by 10:00, only to be jarred from sleep at midnight by all the fireworks.

Home

We’ve been de-furring the house from the granddogs’ visit and catching up on laundry and cleaning. A mostly-clean, things-in-place home calms me, and I am relishing the week’s return to order before the grandkids visit for a couple of nights next week and turn it upside down again. I can’t wait!

The granddogs finally met this weekend—Leo is all puppy, and Levi enjoyed playing but was done well before Leo wanted to stop.

Reflections

The week is also a time for me to make my “Ebenezer Stones” list—a record of all the ways God has shown up for me this year.⁷ I’ve done this a few years now, and it helps me when I’m in a valley to return to this list and remember that God provides. I also spend time reflecting on what worked and what didn't in my relationships, my small business, my home, and my health (mental, physical, and spiritual).

Resolutions

Have I made any resolutions? Zero. Not a single one. Instead, I choose to set intentions based on the life I want to live, the person I want to become, and the way I want to spend my resources.

I bought a treadmill in March. And then the craziest thing happened after I looked at it for two weeks: I actually used it. And then I used it again the next day and the next. I didn’t set a goal for how long or how fast I wanted to walk. I wasn’t aiming for a streak of days. I just set an intention to move more, not just in 2022, but for the rest of my life. I want to be a person who can keep up, and I’m not going to get stronger by sitting at my desk all day. I got on that treadmill a lot, and I intend to continue that practice.

This year I also read more and scrolled less. It wasn’t about a number or a limit. It was about awareness of my activities and whether or not they were serving me well. I wanted to be intentional with my time.

I’ve listed a few intentions for 2023, activities that will help me to continue living a better life. Each morning I’ll take time to remind myself who I want to be and what will help me. More exercise and stretching. More downtime and solitude. More prayer and meditation. More meals at home. More writing. More handwritten letters.

I really expected to begin writing letters this week to friends and family who sent me holiday cards with updates on their families, but it didn’t happen. And that was okay. They’ll be written. I’m not aiming for a certain amount per week—just thoughtful words as someone I care for comes to mind in gratitude or prayer. An unexpected note among all the circulars and bills in the mailbox has such power!

What if the week between was hard?

I know this week can be difficult for some of you—the glitz and glamour of the American Christmas promises so much but underdelivers. Gifts, food, parties, and gatherings cannot satisfy our restless hearts. And we feel the pressure to celebrate big on New Year's Eve or make resolutions that we’ll likely break in nine days. Or maybe you’re beating yourself up because there was so much you should have accomplished during this easy week.

Do me a favor, will you? Let yourself off the hook this weekend. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to binge a series that is total mind-trash, do it. If you have to say no to invitations, say no. If you want to party like it’s 1999 and the world’s gonna end because of Y2K, well…attempt to keep your clothes on. But try two things:

• Reflect on 2022 and write down all the things it held—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

• Ask yourself who you want to be in 2023 and list some intentions that will move you forward at whatever pace works for you.

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YOUR TURN

How have you spent your in-between week?

Do you make New Year’s resolutions?

Head over to the comments and let us know.

Would you like to be the recipient of a handwritten note in the coming months? If so, email your mailing address to hollyrabalais@gmail.com. I’d love to put some sunshine in your mailbox!

Wishing you the best start to 2023!

1. If you missed it, I wrote a series about the experience:

On Being a Stem Cell Donor (Part 1)

2. Feature in this post:

Let's Take a Walk

3. You can read more about our insane small business venture here:

Midweek Musings: Piecing It Together

4. You may remember Aeroplane from this post:

Why Woodville?

5. He’s had some significant issues with one of his legs this year, but still continues to walk down the highway “to town,” which is about a mile and a half from his house.

6. I subscribe to his Substack, but wasn’t sure if his style of fiction writing was for me. In a recent post, he even discusses how his Story Club writing (teacher) is different from his book writing (artist). I took a chance when I found a signed copy of Liberation Day in a bookstore I ducked into before going to see a movie. I’m glad I gave it a chance. Definitely a departure from my normal reading, but good stuff!

Office Hours

7. Learn more about Ebenezer stones here: https://guideposts.org/positive-living/what-is-an-ebenezer-stone/