The July Collection

- gas prices, frittatas, and the power of our words -

Jul 10, 2022

Some of my favorite posts from others are collections of what they’re discovering, so I’ve curated a few of my own for you. The whats may change as I evolve in this venture, but I’d like to always share things that are important to me. Check out The June Collection if you missed it.

The past month has been a bit chaotic with lots of time on the road and a busy season for our event venue. Sitting still isn’t happening as much as I’d like, but I’m finding joy and wisdom in my conversations with others. And I’m protecting what time I do have by saying no to anything extra on the calendar.

Feel free to jump around to different sections:

What I’m cooking

Budget Bytes has been GOLD for me these past four weeks. I discovered this site 7-8 years ago but it had been a while since I checked out recipes there. What I remembered most about the site was that Beth provided recipes for yummy meals with a cost breakdown. I also remembered that she had some Louisiana ties, so my Louisiana-Mississippi palate loved how flavorful those meals were.

When I filled my gas tank a few weeks ago and hit $100 <gag>, I decided it was time to tighten the food budget. I jumped over to Budget Bytes and was like, Wow! Beth’s little blog has gotten BIG. Beth now offers meal plans—4 weeks of dinners, printable shopping lists for each week, and individual recipes all in one downloadable PDF—a great addition to her site.

If you don’t want to purchase a meal plan, you technically could look up each recipe on her site and do the grocery list work yourself, but I’ve enjoyed enough of her recipes to pay the minimal fee for the plan. I’m all about supporting those who do the heavy lifting. Besides, I need more brainless things in my life these days. I chose the Omnivore Meal Plan - Volume 1, and we are loving it!

We’ve stretched three weeks of recipes into four since we’ve had some time away from home, but of those 18 recipes we’ve tried, only one was just kind of meh. The rest were great! And cheap! In fact, I’m a ~~little~~ lot embarrassed by how much we were spending on groceries before we started this plan.

The best part is that I don’t have to decide what’s for dinner or dig through the freezer and pantry to see if I have ingredients for a particular dish. When I’m done with work, I go straight to the kitchen to prep.

Sorry there aren’t more photos of these dishes, but the process has made me forget about the phone while I’m in the kitchen. The dicing and mincing and stirring have been therapeutic. Cooking is no longer something I have to do, but something I get to do. And when it all comes together at the table, I like knowing I’m taking care of myself in that moment with that one meal.

My top three recipes

One Pot Roasted Red Pepper Pasta ($1.26 per serving - meatless, but you can easily add chicken)

Jerk Chicken with Pineapple Black Bean Salsa ($2.50 per serving)

Cauliflower and Chickpea Masala ($1.03 per serving - We didn’t have any naan at our grocery, but I have challenged myself to learn to make it. Send me your tips/recipes!)

Since it’s just the two of us at home, we’ve had enough leftovers for at least lunch the next day (I may have had cauliflower-chickpea masala for breakfast the other morning—don’t judge me).

This particular plan is super heavy on beans, rice, and pasta, so I’m going to try her no rice, no pasta plan next.

On a whim, I also tried my hand at making a frittata—something we love but never learned to cook. I used this base recipe from Cookie + Kate but got creative with veggies, cheese, and spices. This one (which doesn’t look very pretty but was delicious!) has 16 oz mushrooms, 4 cups baby spinach, 1/2 pint grape tomatoes, 4 oz crumbled feta, a handful of bacon bits (because…well, bacon), and Za’atar seasoning.

Printed Pages

If you didn’t catch my Digital Detox post, jump over there to learn more about three books I’ve been slowly consuming and how they’re growing me:

Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport
I Guess I Haven’t Learned that Yet by Shauna Niequist
Undistracted by Bob Goff

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that our 20-year-old son is currently in treatment for drug addiction. I want to note that he is not embarrassed that I share his situation because he understands that it’s only by sharing our struggles that we can help others.

I’m happy to report he is “working the program,” as they say (I didn’t know this was something "they” said until I was introduced to the world of recovery), and making great strides. In the meantime, we are not sitting idly by.

His treatment center recommended It Takes a Family by Debra Jay, and it has been invaluable. While it’s certainly not a beach read, I highly recommend it to anyone who has a loved one in recovery. Forget what you thought you knew about addiction, and read.

The biggest myth-buster for me in this process was that someone in active addiction has to want help first. But what I’m learning is that behavioral expectations (“You’re going to rehab or else”) can lead to a change in behavior (detoxing, working with a counselor, and going to meetings), which can transform attitude (choosing to go to optional group meetings and to be held accountable).

Did our son choose to enter treatment? Only when faced with a tough consequence to some actions.
Did he want to be there on Day 7 after he had physically detoxed? No. But he still agreed to stay 30 days.
Did he want to be there on Day 19 when I told him that it was our expectation that he remain 90 days? No. He was angry and disappointed for about half an hour. Then he said, “I’m okay, Mama. I know this is where I need to be.”
Did he want to be there on Day 33 when we visited him? Yes. He is glad to be where he is, getting the skills he needs. And he is even talking about completing the entire program, which is 8-9 months.

I can’t possibly cover all the good in this book—just give it a shot if you share the struggle of loving someone with a substance abuse disorder.

On the Web

I’m not sure how I discovered Sean of the South, but immediately after reading the first post, I subscribed to the daily email list. I’ve read every single one each morning since. Sean Dietrich writes about life in the American South. Start with Close Knit or Westminster’s Best in Show. I am a Southern girl, and each of those stories made me think of a family member.

I’ve also been exploring more writers on Substack and am enjoying Jenny Rosenstrach’s weekly Three Things posts over at Dinner: A Love Story. Each week offers something new, keeping it fresh, but you can always count on great food inspiration (like Andy’s Fried Potatoes and an MVP Potato Salad).

Annnnnd then there is Shannan Martin over at The Soup. You’ll see her name in print from time to time here at Release and Gather. She’s witty and full of heart and authentic. I’ve read several of her books and can’t wait for Start with Hello to be released in October.

This summer Shannan’s been giving us Blue Ribbon Friday posts that outline what’s winning in her life. Most of the posts are for paid subscribers (me! me! me!), but you can check out these public posts here, here, and here for a taste. Do I think they’re worth $5 a month? Why, yes. Yes, I do.

What I’m noticing

There’s been a common thread in things I’ve heard and read lately—identity, behavior, and the power of words (to others and to ourselves).

In reading Bob Goff’s books over the years, several quotes have stuck with me. A couple in particular hit me hard around the same time we realized our son was using drugs.

“Instead of telling people what they want, we need to tell them who they are….We’ll become in our lives whoever the people we love the most say we are.” Bob Goff, Everybody Always

“Tell people who they're becoming, not who they were.”

Everything in me wanted to point out the madness of the negative behavior and strong-arm him into “shaping up.” Instead, I decided to start reminding him who he was.

I wish I could credit the artist who drew this. I found it on social media years ago.

I began sending him emails with the subject: “Let me tell you who you are…” I’d tell him who I knew him to be based on his talents, his gifts, and who God says he is. With each iteration, I appended a number. We’re up to 44 now over the last four years.

Not long ago I found myself re-reading some of those digitally archived words and being surprised that some of the very things I wrote to him years ago are things I still find myself writing in notes I send today. I printed off a few and sent them in my last letter so he could remember.

So much out there tells you to step back from someone in active addiction and remove support. While I agree you should not enable an addict, I don’t agree that you should stop reaching out and showing them love and support in healthy ways. This was a topic of discussion in a post over at “Thanks For Letting Me Share” that sparked some great comments, including this one:

"Love is remembering who they are, even when they have forgotten." - a comment by the author of Co-Create on supporting a loved one in recovery

I know that no matter what he has forgotten about himself, my words have the power to remind my son who he is. Not what he has done. Who he actually is. And this doesn’t just apply to him, it applies to anyone I speak to.

I was talking about this with his counselor during our last call. She said that I’ve created for him a tether to reality, unconditional love, and a Higher Power through my love, words, and encouragement. Hopefully, he will one day have many tethers to those things through various relationships.

I like this analogy of a tether. It helps me describe why I continue reaching out, loving, not giving up on him. At his age, I was very much untethered. I was living my young adult life, not caring about anyone or anything outside the three-foot radius around me.

When I look back on those days, I really wish someone had kept reaching out, being there, showing me they cared even though I couldn’t care back. Did I deserve for people to wash their hands of me. 100% yes. I was so selfish during that season of my life! But still I have always wondered—would I have come back to myself more quickly if someone had persistently reminded me who I was?

So I persist.

Son, let me tell you who you are…

Release and Gather