Succeeding in the Failures
plans gone awry make room for unexpected goodness
New subscribers jfelder, Stuart, Shelly, ina, Danny, Rob, Ravinder, ndirishfan, Clara, Alina, and Jean have joined the
community this week. Welcome!—and don’t shy away from the comments section where great discussion happens each week. Hearing from you broadens my perspective and sends my mind down paths I never considered. Look for the “Your Turn” section at the bottom. If you prefer, you can always share your thoughts and feedback by emailing hollyrabalais@substack.com.
A few months ago I wrote about my side gig—a 119-year-old building that my husband Mike and I run as an event venue and how I want to bring more nonprofit art events to the community in 2023.
I’m planning to resurrect art evenings at The Historic Planters Building after the first of the year. I’ll keep you posted on how things go.1
So this is me, keeping you posted!
If you read last week’s newsletter, then you know this month has been a trying one for these entrepreneurs.2 With major plumbing issues and an unusually high number of paid events, January has been hectic exhausting.3 I intended to hold an art night this month. I even designed a poster to advertise the event, but I kept hesitating each time I resolved to announce it.
Even though I was looking forward to jumping into the year serving our community, not having an art night in January was the right call. I finally realized I needed to let go of that plan.
Release.
On Monday, community member Kim called me.
“Holly, my daughter’s dance team has a competition on Saturday. Normally they practice outside at the park, but it is just too cold and tomorrow it’s supposed to storm. Is there any way we could use your building to practice today and tomorrow?”
“Absolutely. What time do you need to get in?”
“3:30—oh, Holly! Thank you! I almost didn’t call you but then I thought—Holly is always about doing things for the kids. I’m gonna call her.”
And I’m so glad she did. What was going to be two nights of practice there actually turned into three. They had gotten permission to practice in the volunteer firehouse Wednesday evening, but on arrival found the floor to be very wet. Kim reached out to me again, offering to pay to use the space. I told her the only payment required was to work hard on their routine and go make our county proud.
No, I wasn’t able to offer a formal art night to the community, but I was still able to open the doors of the space to a group of kids to dance—unexpected joy and purpose in failed intentions.
Gather.
Without that old building, we’d have more time on our hands and money in our pockets. We’re in our fourth year of business and finally saw less of a loss last year. On paper, COVID and renovations in 2020 and 2021 made this dream look like insanity.
Of course, when I talk to others about the dream, it still seems insane because the goal has never been for it to make us rich (financially). The dream is to grow the paid events and get the business self-sustaining so we can do more there for the community, especially our youth. Those rewards will indeed be rich!
Slowly, we are getting there. I remind myself daily that growth takes time, a concept that’s hard for me because I tend to work in fast-and-furious mode, wanting results immediately. That worked when I was in the restaurant business, and it works in my current day job as an IT security analyst, but it doesn’t necessarily work for building a business. Nor does fast-and-furious work in building character, something I considered as I vacuumed all 3,500 square feet of floor space this week.
Cleaning floors, scrubbing surfaces, and scouring toilets keeps me humble. It paves the way for me to meet people and love them, which is the real goal of owning this old building.
I’ve been thinking about something Bob Goff wrote:
We often use other people’s metrics to define what was a success and what was a failure. Even when our plans fail, we usually realize a lot of people were loved in the process, which was our goal in starting. We ended up crossing paths with people we might never have met if we didn’t put ourselves out there. Sometimes these people even nestle their way into our inner circle.
Beyond my faith, the goal I have in life is to find people to share it with. Our ideas are a success if we have more friends when they end. Our failures make us more real too. They give us more in common with everyone else who has experienced frustration and loss. You never know: whether it’s a small, private failure or a big, public one, the impact our lives will have is sometimes much greater in our failures than in our successes.4
Maybe this crazy dream of breathing new life into an old building to serve the community will never come to fruition, but the project has been and will continue to be a success even in the failed attempt (if that’s what it comes to).
About a year and a half ago I fired up my laptop to start my work day when I realized I’d left my mouse at the business two blocks away.
<sigh> Why didn't I just put it back in my work bag when I was finished with it the other day?
I changed out of my pajamas and went over to retrieve it, and when I rounded the corner I saw to-go boxes, tamale husks, foil, empty water bottles, and all kinds of other trash in the parking area.
<sigh> Ugh! Why are people so lazy and gross?
I located the mouse and was about to head home, but I couldn't ignore the trash. I went back inside for the broom and dustpan. As I scooped up the debris, an older lady slowly walked up the street toward me from where she’d been standing in front of Jr’s Auto.
“It’s a shame when someone tells you they’ll give you a ride and don’t show up.”
She had dropped her car off for repairs, but her ride home didn’t show. I asked where she lived.
“Jackson Louisiana Road. You don’t live down there, do you?”
“No ma’am, but I’ll be glad to give you a ride home.”
“I thank you. I was going to get me a little breakfast at L&M first.”
I told her I would drive down and pick her up from the local breakfast spot as soon as I finished cleaning. By the time I got in the car, she had only made it a few yards. She was really struggling to walk, so I told her to get in so I could drive her the rest of the way.
As we started towards L&M and she told me not to worry about stopping there. “I can just make me something at home so you don't have to wait on me.”
“I know you had those tastebuds set on something from L&M, so I'm going to just wait right here while you get that breakfast. Take your time; I'm in no rush.”
A few minutes later she emerged from the bright yellow building and handed her coffee to me through the window. “Baby, take this for me.”
(Here in Mississippi, when a lady of such advanced years calls you “baby” and directs you to do something, you do it quickly with a “Yes, ma’am.”)
I asked her to hand me the breakfast plate so she could get in the vehicle, no easy task for her.
As we pulled away, she said simply, “God is so good.”
“Yes ma'am, He is!”
We had a little praise session on that drive to her house, thanking God for his providence and acknowledging that He is the Author of interruptions and perfect timing.
I learned her name—Ms. Mary—and she told me she had known my grandmother when she was alive. She thanked me again as she got out of the vehicle, and told me if I ever needed anything to let her know. She even gave me her phone number to call her sometime.
As she shut the door this woman I’d met only half an hour before called out, “Love you!”
Love comes in the interruptions.
Release and Gather.
God shows up in the untimely annoyances and turns them into something beautiful.
YOUR TURN
Has there been a time when it seemed everything was falling apart but later you realized things turned out much better than you could have orchestrated on your own?
We’re actually less entrepreneurs and more lunatics!
Live in Grace - Walk in Love by Bob Goff
“Love comes in the interruptions.” What a beautiful truth!
Wonderful, wonderful words, Holly. Your encounter with Ms Mary has made me beam from ear to ear AND given me goosepimples, and THESE words about the dance team are everything:
"I told her the only payment required was to work hard on their routine and go make our county proud."
Holly, you do YOURSELF proud, and inspire me with every word you write. Thank you.