Hey there! Congrats on the subscriber growth. Sorry about the mood, but I must say I admire your approach to getting yourself together. Hope things are better!
Thanks! It’s nice to see more subscribers with each passing week.
As far as my approach, I guess that’s my tendency to attempt to insert logic or identify patterns into things I don’t understand. Or maybe it’s the problem-solving part of my brain. Anyway, thought I’d share in case it was of use to someone else. The needle is finally swinging in the right direction.
We certainly are on the same wavelength this week! I’m glad to be living in a time where mental-health gets more of the attention it deserves. Suffering in silence is a vicious cycle.
Indeed, and there was much silence for a long time. Your post today showed me a different side to this mental health issue that we often turn a blind eye to--those who are really, really sick and need the most help are often brushed off (or written off?). Lots to think about.
Holly, Sundays I work so I'm just getting around to catching up with my Substack reads. It doesn't seem surprising to me that you might find yourself in a funk at this time. From reading your posts it's pretty clear that you have been holding space for a great deal of healing for others (two major people in your life), which is commendable. But if you're like most people, it's easy to lose sight of nurturing yourself. I find when I am going a hundred miles an hour for way too long and not listening to my body, I will get physically sick. And years ago I suffered from anxiety attacks until I learned to understand them. I think of them now as my body's way of trying to take care of me. I've likely ignored all of "her" subtle messages and "she" finally has to take the bull by the horns. I listen these days :) When I get those initial feelings, I thank my body (quite literally) and begin the inner dialogue I might have with my child. "Alright, what's wrong honey?" And you can bet on it, she always has answers. Thanks for sharing this with your readers. Important stuff. 💟
Wonderful post, Holly - thank you so much for sharing these really important words. Your checklist is an absolute genius - I'm going to work on one of my own. Sending strength.
Ahhhh....anxiety-we are constant companions (always in varying degrees). I so appreciated your reflection on the wisdom/experience gained by making yourself do things you were dreading. (Dread might not be the right word) I love, love, love that you utilize the money from paid subscribers to assist others. This is so beautiful.
Dread is probably an apt word for it--even though it seems so silly to dread such ordinary things. But this is how the blues operate, and it is a good reminder to me that for every small spell of sadness I have there is someone fighting a much worse depressive state constantly.
I have a sign hanging in my back entrance: “When you have more than you need, build a longer table not a higher fence.” Here’s to long tables and low fences!
Yes! Oohh and let's fill the table with delicious food, delight filled vases of flowers and greenery, music in the background that we break out in song to...ahhhh
My mother died on November 6 and my father on Christmas day. Even though these deaths were years and years ago, sometimes my body remembers before my mind does, and I become weepy and agitated. of letting go, when everything returns to the earth. If you follow the seasons at all, it is bound to have an effect on you. We need to honor that. And then yes, your checklist are good and helpful. 🔆
Then this season packs an extra sorrowful punch for you, Jan. “...my body remembers before my mind does...” Isn’t it wild how our bodies know things that haven’t quite registered yet? The change in season has affected me greatly this year--I’m going to bed much earlier, moving more slowly, and watching the leaves fall in a melancholy sort of way.
I’m going to bookmark this. I don’t have a list like this but I do certain things myself when I feel I’m hitting a slump. But love the list! So glad I found you! 💕
So happy to have you here, Susi, and glad you found the list useful! The list has evolved through the years, and it never hurts to share what I’ve learned.
Thanks for sharing this, Holly. I don't struggle with panic attacks or depression, but I do go through periods of "blah" where everything seems overwhelming. I can see God at work in your walk through this period, giving you ways to minister to others through your own painful experiences (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
"Have I neglected my need to create?" -> Powerful question, and a good one. I feel a void in my life when I'm not creating. I think God created us in part TO create--it's an aspect of reflecting His image.
I was thrilled to read about your tomato sauce experience - there's something strangely therapeutic that happens when fingers begin to squeeze tomatoes... It should be recommended anti-funk therapy 😂
I hope by the time you read this, you're feeling a bit better!
FWIW, "swirling wallpaper" is a great descriptor of panic attack symptoms. I tried for years to articulate what was happening when I was having one, and usually fell short.
Joined nearly all of the kids and grandkids for church and lunch today in the city. Jonah brought a couple of his new treatment buddies, and Brittney brought the new guy she’s been dating (who seems quite promising!). It was a great day. Further mood lifting!
It’s so hard to explain the symptoms to someone who hasn’t experienced it, but I will never forget the times two of my kids came to me and started describing how they “felt funny.” I was so thankful I knew and could help them.
Sorry to hear you are down. I know how you feel. I've had stuff going on for awhile now. I have good days and I have bad days. We can only hope and pray that things get better.
I like the "Slump Checklist" and may steal....er, I mean borrow...it at some time. I think we could all benefit from a little self-introspection..
Please do steal it! I share because we learn from each other. I hope something can help.
Hey there! Congrats on the subscriber growth. Sorry about the mood, but I must say I admire your approach to getting yourself together. Hope things are better!
Thanks! It’s nice to see more subscribers with each passing week.
As far as my approach, I guess that’s my tendency to attempt to insert logic or identify patterns into things I don’t understand. Or maybe it’s the problem-solving part of my brain. Anyway, thought I’d share in case it was of use to someone else. The needle is finally swinging in the right direction.
We certainly are on the same wavelength this week! I’m glad to be living in a time where mental-health gets more of the attention it deserves. Suffering in silence is a vicious cycle.
Indeed, and there was much silence for a long time. Your post today showed me a different side to this mental health issue that we often turn a blind eye to--those who are really, really sick and need the most help are often brushed off (or written off?). Lots to think about.
Absolutely, I’m glad the conversation is alive and that I get to be a part of it.
Holly, Sundays I work so I'm just getting around to catching up with my Substack reads. It doesn't seem surprising to me that you might find yourself in a funk at this time. From reading your posts it's pretty clear that you have been holding space for a great deal of healing for others (two major people in your life), which is commendable. But if you're like most people, it's easy to lose sight of nurturing yourself. I find when I am going a hundred miles an hour for way too long and not listening to my body, I will get physically sick. And years ago I suffered from anxiety attacks until I learned to understand them. I think of them now as my body's way of trying to take care of me. I've likely ignored all of "her" subtle messages and "she" finally has to take the bull by the horns. I listen these days :) When I get those initial feelings, I thank my body (quite literally) and begin the inner dialogue I might have with my child. "Alright, what's wrong honey?" And you can bet on it, she always has answers. Thanks for sharing this with your readers. Important stuff. 💟
Wonderful post, Holly - thank you so much for sharing these really important words. Your checklist is an absolute genius - I'm going to work on one of my own. Sending strength.
Stay tuned this week--I may post a discussion thread for everyone else’s ideas or “lists.”
Ahhhh....anxiety-we are constant companions (always in varying degrees). I so appreciated your reflection on the wisdom/experience gained by making yourself do things you were dreading. (Dread might not be the right word) I love, love, love that you utilize the money from paid subscribers to assist others. This is so beautiful.
Dread is probably an apt word for it--even though it seems so silly to dread such ordinary things. But this is how the blues operate, and it is a good reminder to me that for every small spell of sadness I have there is someone fighting a much worse depressive state constantly.
I have a sign hanging in my back entrance: “When you have more than you need, build a longer table not a higher fence.” Here’s to long tables and low fences!
Yes! Oohh and let's fill the table with delicious food, delight filled vases of flowers and greenery, music in the background that we break out in song to...ahhhh
My mother died on November 6 and my father on Christmas day. Even though these deaths were years and years ago, sometimes my body remembers before my mind does, and I become weepy and agitated. of letting go, when everything returns to the earth. If you follow the seasons at all, it is bound to have an effect on you. We need to honor that. And then yes, your checklist are good and helpful. 🔆
Then this season packs an extra sorrowful punch for you, Jan. “...my body remembers before my mind does...” Isn’t it wild how our bodies know things that haven’t quite registered yet? The change in season has affected me greatly this year--I’m going to bed much earlier, moving more slowly, and watching the leaves fall in a melancholy sort of way.
Lost part of the message there. I meant to say this is the time of letting go. Natures time
I’m going to bookmark this. I don’t have a list like this but I do certain things myself when I feel I’m hitting a slump. But love the list! So glad I found you! 💕
So happy to have you here, Susi, and glad you found the list useful! The list has evolved through the years, and it never hurts to share what I’ve learned.
The list is a great one, Holly, and as always your beautiful and honest writing has brought a huge ray of sunshine with it.
Thanks, Terry!
Thanks for sharing this, Holly. I don't struggle with panic attacks or depression, but I do go through periods of "blah" where everything seems overwhelming. I can see God at work in your walk through this period, giving you ways to minister to others through your own painful experiences (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
"Have I neglected my need to create?" -> Powerful question, and a good one. I feel a void in my life when I'm not creating. I think God created us in part TO create--it's an aspect of reflecting His image.
Love that passage! And yes, that is why I share the tough stuff. We need to know we are not alone.
I think it gives other people courage to share their struggles, too. It's easier to open up when you realize the other person can genuinely relate.
“I didn’t feel like being nice to the man who wanted to pee in my yard, but I forced myself to go above and beyond.” So funny!
Glad you are feeling better Holly. Love your checklist!
I was thrilled to read about your tomato sauce experience - there's something strangely therapeutic that happens when fingers begin to squeeze tomatoes... It should be recommended anti-funk therapy 😂
Agreed!
I hope by the time you read this, you're feeling a bit better!
FWIW, "swirling wallpaper" is a great descriptor of panic attack symptoms. I tried for years to articulate what was happening when I was having one, and usually fell short.
Joined nearly all of the kids and grandkids for church and lunch today in the city. Jonah brought a couple of his new treatment buddies, and Brittney brought the new guy she’s been dating (who seems quite promising!). It was a great day. Further mood lifting!
It’s so hard to explain the symptoms to someone who hasn’t experienced it, but I will never forget the times two of my kids came to me and started describing how they “felt funny.” I was so thankful I knew and could help them.
Sorry to hear you are down. I know how you feel. I've had stuff going on for awhile now. I have good days and I have bad days. We can only hope and pray that things get better.
Indeed, Matt! Valleys and mountaintops and the misty flats somewhere in between.