There was a flurry of new subscriptions this week, and I have no idea why—but welcome to all of you: Dani P., Robin B., Chris F., Fanny Bea W., Muhammad N., Hung Q., Shalini P., nscprez, Katharine, RENY, and MAV. I suspect at least one or two of those are pseudonyms, but I’m welcoming you just as you are because that’s how we roll here at Release and Gather!
Thank you so much for this post! A dear friend of mine has --after many years of blackouts and dangerous situations--decided to go sober. Last night, over non-alcoholic beers, we were discussing the insidious nature of alcohol in our country. It's everywhere; it's inescapable! And it's a huge killer! 50 years from now, I wonder if we'll look at alcohol consumption the way we look at tobacco. I say this as someone who still drinks occasionally, so no judgement. Still, I can see myself going down the path you and your husband are on, Holly.
Yesterday I was talking with the owner of a couple of restaurants in south Louisiana, and he lamented that everything in this region is centered on food and drinks. It’s such a huge part of the culture, and it is literally killing people. I don’t know how change happens, but it can start with me.
Quitting alcohol is one of the best things that ever happened to me. There can be so much back-and-forth and semantics-parsing when you’re in the thick of struggling, but there is so much relief in acceptance. I think if you know, you know. I’ve never regretted my decision (in 2010!) to quit. Thank you for sharing this.
Beautiful post. I was going to write a I Miss Alcohol essay but am rethinking it. I write humorous views on aging so I would mention that its only when I watch TV or a movie and everyone on the screen is imbibing that I want to pour myself a bold red. The only reason I stopped alcohol is because every type gave me a wicked headache that even Tylenol couldn’t fix. My parents never drank. We were the cliche Jews who thought drinking was for the gentiles. It was having twins that drove hubby and I to the bottle. Haha. Twins are now 25 years old. My son ruined his stomach from a night of scotch when he was a teen. Hubby has an occasional glass of wine. I would prefer he quit. I will share your story with him. I’m looking forward to reading the articles with links. Thx so much! 🙏
I cannot lie--I think I will miss having a glass or two of red over dinner with some jazz filling the air the most! Unfortunately, most wine and beer gives Mike the awful headache you speak of. I can attest that just seeing him in so much pain makes it not worth it!
I can understand how twins would drive you to drinking. 😂 I had a friend who had twin girls around the time Noah was born, and just watching her was exhausting!
Holly, Such courage! Thank you for sharing. I drank some in college but forced myself to, to fit in. I hated the taste and alcoholism runs in my family so I pretty much stopped in my mid 20s. I'm grateful I didn't enjoy it. I'm glad you're feeling better and sleeping well too!
Holly - absolutely loved this. I grew up in the Charleston, SC area and was a "party animal" from about age 15 until I turned 29. My years in the Navy just intensified that persona. Back in the day (70s) it was expected. The peer pressure was intense. A couple of years after those Navy days, I realized that it was not compatible with my new life of faith. So I quit, cold turkey. That was 42 years ago now. I'm retired now, but for a long time worked with those who idolized alcohol. They could not do life without it. I marveled at that because almost instantly I had discovered, like you, that alcohol was not necessary to have fun. The added benefit was that I did not suffer from hangovers, memory losses, or self-imposed dangers (driving drunk). I als discovered that there are so many non-alcoholic beverages that taste much better. So, why drink, right? I didn't know anyone who truly "drank" for the taste or socially without an underlying, often non-spoken desire for at least a buzz. Just didn't make sense to me any more. Thanks again for the post. I enjoy reading your life adventures. Very similar to mine.
Thanks for sharing, Cork! I understand the peer pressure and just the all around culture of your Navy days. Mike was in Charleston after spending some time stationed in Italy, and we’ve talked about how that was just what you did.
For me, I really do love the taste of a good margarita!🤣 So I will find a way to create a non-alcoholic version that I can treat myself to from time to time. I won’t miss the tequila!
I don't drink as much as I had in the past. I recently went four weeks without a drink, something unheard of just a few years back. Last night on the way home from work, I briefly entertained the thought of grabbing a bottle of wine. For some reason, it's just not appealing to me anymore. At the age of almost 61, maybe my body is like you've had enough. Looking forward to hearing more of your journey.
I grew up in a family of alcoholics, both my grandfathers, my dad and all his brothers. It has crossed my mind that perhaps me drinking alcohol is not the wisest choice.
Thanks for sharing this, Shelly. I have those same thoughts sometimes--“maybe we can just have that wine our kids brought back from Italy” or “well, they do have this daiquiri machine here at the work party, and it *is* 85 degrees out here today...” In the end what keeps me sober is knowing that I’ve committed to it for good reasons *and* that I’ve shared that decision with some people I do life with. I wouldn’t want to have to tell them I fell off the wagon!
This is such a thought-provoking post, Holly - thank you so much. Your snap from your college days really took me back - gosh, I'm pretty sure that I made some poor decisions around alcohol at a similar point in my own life. These days I'm rather more considered and, I hope, aware, in my approach to the stuff.
I've (more or less) stopped drinking. I could go out & 9 times out of 10 there'd be no issue. But every once in awhile, my brain will light up like a Christmas tree, and then it became a "one is too many; 10 is not enough" situation. That never ends well. Not the easiest change to make in a state known for it's love of the drink...or living in a college town.
Plus, with my work schedule I don't get to go out that much. When I do, I actually want to talk to the people we're with.
Margaritas got me in trouble because I just love the taste...and wanted a refill when the glass was empty if we weren’t finished with conversation. But I agree--I much prefer unimpaired conversation!
Drinking beyond my limits has never worked out for me. Never. Getting beyond a certain point where you’re not in control has reinforced over time that drinking to “feel good” will always lead past those limits. I still drink sometimes, an interesting cocktail with dinner or an aperitif one evening, but it’s for taste, not oblivion.
I don’t have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol but am moving farther from it. It’s expensive and doesn’t provide a lot of value. It doesn’t fill you, it steals. I commend those who sever the ties completely.
You’re so right, Chevanne--it doesn’t provide value, something we realized when we really analyzed it’s purpose in our lives. we’d rather spend our time, energy, and money on more lasting endeavors.
I love this post. I'm "of an age" where doing everything I can to maintain and elongate "cognitive health and acuity" are a top priority. I gave up alcohol--and I did love to drink--on January 17th, 2021--my goal was to live a life of mind/body/spirit clarity. The first year was challenging--my beloveds are drinkers--and to be saying no to those morning Mimosas on celebratory occasions was--well, sad. But now--not at all. I love my life without alcohol. Here's my favorite Mocktail. It's called a Chelada: NA beer over ice with lime juice and a salted rim.
Thanks so much for this recipe, Diana, and congrats on over a year of being kinder to your body and mind. I know it will get easier with time. We are making some adjustments to help keep the temptations at bay--like eating at our favorite Indian restaurant (where we always order water) instead of our favorite Mexican place. Also, we attended a work social function today and I treated myself to a snowball instead of hitting the daiquiri machine. I’m looking forward to a better me! Thanks for the words of encouragement.
Very interesting, and well done! I discovered at around aged 15 that I love whiskey. Any kind, especially malt, but even the stuff that burns your insides, like Jack Daniels (hope I'm not insulting anyone with that comment!). I immediately stopped drinking whenever the opportunity to drink it arose. I figured it would be easier to not really start than to try and stop once it had got a hold on me. If I have a drink more than once or twice a year it's a lot. The worse thing, though, is peer pressure. If I'm out with a group of lads they expect me to drink more than just fizzy water. Sometimes people have been embarrassed to order a drink for me. Well, my view is that that's their problem, not mine!
The social awkwardness of *not* drinking is a tricky thing! Just today we were at a work function where most people were drinking beer and frozen cocktails. We stuck with water and felt a bit out of place.
I feel this. I haven’t “quit” alcohol per se, but I’ve stopped drinking at home every evening. Mostly because it hits me differently now as a 51yo and it impacts my joints and sleep. And since I’ve cut out sugar, I don’t drink cocktails when out that much. I did miss it at first, more because of the ritual and the social aspect, but now I feel so crappy whenever I drink I miss it less. At home I’ve switched to herbal tea in the evening.
Congratulations, Holly! We have to listen to ourselves and our bodies to know what we need and what we do not. I make a mean mockarita (all by sight/taste). One winner is a tropical version. Get frozen fruit (something with mango and/or pineapple), pour in a bit of orange juice then (and this is the kicker) add some ginger ale. Ginger will add that "burn" and warmth that booze typically brings (when I made this for a friend, she thought it was a real one...don't worry, she wasn't sober). Add in more juice or water to keep the blender blending, adjusting to your taste/preference. Get some chips, guacamole and mango salsa, and you're halfway to summer. xo
Thank you for the insightful piece. I did it all backward--I was a hard-ass scold about alcohol when I was younger, then started drinking wine after being introduced to it in my late 20's. I don't think I'm going to give it up, but you have raised my consciousness about the trade-offs!
I definitely don’t knock those who enjoy a drink and don’t let it take from their life. For me, it just wasn’t good for me or the purpose I’m trying to serve here in my community. Thanks for joining the discussion!
Thank you so much for this post! A dear friend of mine has --after many years of blackouts and dangerous situations--decided to go sober. Last night, over non-alcoholic beers, we were discussing the insidious nature of alcohol in our country. It's everywhere; it's inescapable! And it's a huge killer! 50 years from now, I wonder if we'll look at alcohol consumption the way we look at tobacco. I say this as someone who still drinks occasionally, so no judgement. Still, I can see myself going down the path you and your husband are on, Holly.
Yesterday I was talking with the owner of a couple of restaurants in south Louisiana, and he lamented that everything in this region is centered on food and drinks. It’s such a huge part of the culture, and it is literally killing people. I don’t know how change happens, but it can start with me.
Quitting alcohol is one of the best things that ever happened to me. There can be so much back-and-forth and semantics-parsing when you’re in the thick of struggling, but there is so much relief in acceptance. I think if you know, you know. I’ve never regretted my decision (in 2010!) to quit. Thank you for sharing this.
“...so much relief in acceptance.” Yes!
Beautiful post. I was going to write a I Miss Alcohol essay but am rethinking it. I write humorous views on aging so I would mention that its only when I watch TV or a movie and everyone on the screen is imbibing that I want to pour myself a bold red. The only reason I stopped alcohol is because every type gave me a wicked headache that even Tylenol couldn’t fix. My parents never drank. We were the cliche Jews who thought drinking was for the gentiles. It was having twins that drove hubby and I to the bottle. Haha. Twins are now 25 years old. My son ruined his stomach from a night of scotch when he was a teen. Hubby has an occasional glass of wine. I would prefer he quit. I will share your story with him. I’m looking forward to reading the articles with links. Thx so much! 🙏
I cannot lie--I think I will miss having a glass or two of red over dinner with some jazz filling the air the most! Unfortunately, most wine and beer gives Mike the awful headache you speak of. I can attest that just seeing him in so much pain makes it not worth it!
I can understand how twins would drive you to drinking. 😂 I had a friend who had twin girls around the time Noah was born, and just watching her was exhausting!
Holly, Such courage! Thank you for sharing. I drank some in college but forced myself to, to fit in. I hated the taste and alcoholism runs in my family so I pretty much stopped in my mid 20s. I'm grateful I didn't enjoy it. I'm glad you're feeling better and sleeping well too!
Thank you, Julie!
You're welcome. We hope to see you again soon. :)
🤞🏼Hoping to make it this Friday!
That would be great! :)
This is incredible. I am so happy for you and your sober journey!! It only gets better :)
Holly - absolutely loved this. I grew up in the Charleston, SC area and was a "party animal" from about age 15 until I turned 29. My years in the Navy just intensified that persona. Back in the day (70s) it was expected. The peer pressure was intense. A couple of years after those Navy days, I realized that it was not compatible with my new life of faith. So I quit, cold turkey. That was 42 years ago now. I'm retired now, but for a long time worked with those who idolized alcohol. They could not do life without it. I marveled at that because almost instantly I had discovered, like you, that alcohol was not necessary to have fun. The added benefit was that I did not suffer from hangovers, memory losses, or self-imposed dangers (driving drunk). I als discovered that there are so many non-alcoholic beverages that taste much better. So, why drink, right? I didn't know anyone who truly "drank" for the taste or socially without an underlying, often non-spoken desire for at least a buzz. Just didn't make sense to me any more. Thanks again for the post. I enjoy reading your life adventures. Very similar to mine.
Thanks for sharing, Cork! I understand the peer pressure and just the all around culture of your Navy days. Mike was in Charleston after spending some time stationed in Italy, and we’ve talked about how that was just what you did.
For me, I really do love the taste of a good margarita!🤣 So I will find a way to create a non-alcoholic version that I can treat myself to from time to time. I won’t miss the tequila!
I don't drink as much as I had in the past. I recently went four weeks without a drink, something unheard of just a few years back. Last night on the way home from work, I briefly entertained the thought of grabbing a bottle of wine. For some reason, it's just not appealing to me anymore. At the age of almost 61, maybe my body is like you've had enough. Looking forward to hearing more of your journey.
I grew up in a family of alcoholics, both my grandfathers, my dad and all his brothers. It has crossed my mind that perhaps me drinking alcohol is not the wisest choice.
Thanks for sharing this, Shelly. I have those same thoughts sometimes--“maybe we can just have that wine our kids brought back from Italy” or “well, they do have this daiquiri machine here at the work party, and it *is* 85 degrees out here today...” In the end what keeps me sober is knowing that I’ve committed to it for good reasons *and* that I’ve shared that decision with some people I do life with. I wouldn’t want to have to tell them I fell off the wagon!
This is such a thought-provoking post, Holly - thank you so much. Your snap from your college days really took me back - gosh, I'm pretty sure that I made some poor decisions around alcohol at a similar point in my own life. These days I'm rather more considered and, I hope, aware, in my approach to the stuff.
I try not to think about those days too often, and I am immensely thankful we did not have digital cameras back then!🤣
🤣
I've (more or less) stopped drinking. I could go out & 9 times out of 10 there'd be no issue. But every once in awhile, my brain will light up like a Christmas tree, and then it became a "one is too many; 10 is not enough" situation. That never ends well. Not the easiest change to make in a state known for it's love of the drink...or living in a college town.
Plus, with my work schedule I don't get to go out that much. When I do, I actually want to talk to the people we're with.
Margaritas got me in trouble because I just love the taste...and wanted a refill when the glass was empty if we weren’t finished with conversation. But I agree--I much prefer unimpaired conversation!
Drinking beyond my limits has never worked out for me. Never. Getting beyond a certain point where you’re not in control has reinforced over time that drinking to “feel good” will always lead past those limits. I still drink sometimes, an interesting cocktail with dinner or an aperitif one evening, but it’s for taste, not oblivion.
I don’t have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol but am moving farther from it. It’s expensive and doesn’t provide a lot of value. It doesn’t fill you, it steals. I commend those who sever the ties completely.
You’re so right, Chevanne--it doesn’t provide value, something we realized when we really analyzed it’s purpose in our lives. we’d rather spend our time, energy, and money on more lasting endeavors.
I love this post. I'm "of an age" where doing everything I can to maintain and elongate "cognitive health and acuity" are a top priority. I gave up alcohol--and I did love to drink--on January 17th, 2021--my goal was to live a life of mind/body/spirit clarity. The first year was challenging--my beloveds are drinkers--and to be saying no to those morning Mimosas on celebratory occasions was--well, sad. But now--not at all. I love my life without alcohol. Here's my favorite Mocktail. It's called a Chelada: NA beer over ice with lime juice and a salted rim.
Thanks so much for this recipe, Diana, and congrats on over a year of being kinder to your body and mind. I know it will get easier with time. We are making some adjustments to help keep the temptations at bay--like eating at our favorite Indian restaurant (where we always order water) instead of our favorite Mexican place. Also, we attended a work social function today and I treated myself to a snowball instead of hitting the daiquiri machine. I’m looking forward to a better me! Thanks for the words of encouragement.
Very interesting, and well done! I discovered at around aged 15 that I love whiskey. Any kind, especially malt, but even the stuff that burns your insides, like Jack Daniels (hope I'm not insulting anyone with that comment!). I immediately stopped drinking whenever the opportunity to drink it arose. I figured it would be easier to not really start than to try and stop once it had got a hold on me. If I have a drink more than once or twice a year it's a lot. The worse thing, though, is peer pressure. If I'm out with a group of lads they expect me to drink more than just fizzy water. Sometimes people have been embarrassed to order a drink for me. Well, my view is that that's their problem, not mine!
The social awkwardness of *not* drinking is a tricky thing! Just today we were at a work function where most people were drinking beer and frozen cocktails. We stuck with water and felt a bit out of place.
Or you could look at it that the others were out of place 😁
Exactly. The more I’m around people over-imbibing, the more sane I feel.
I feel this. I haven’t “quit” alcohol per se, but I’ve stopped drinking at home every evening. Mostly because it hits me differently now as a 51yo and it impacts my joints and sleep. And since I’ve cut out sugar, I don’t drink cocktails when out that much. I did miss it at first, more because of the ritual and the social aspect, but now I feel so crappy whenever I drink I miss it less. At home I’ve switched to herbal tea in the evening.
I’m also enjoying herbal tea, Jen, and in the morning I’ve found some great green tea blends I’m loving!
Oh, and I was definitely NOT a party animal in my 20s. I think I’ve always been a reclusive 50yo! 😂
Wow---this was really amazing! I'm really happy for all of you.
Congratulations, Holly! We have to listen to ourselves and our bodies to know what we need and what we do not. I make a mean mockarita (all by sight/taste). One winner is a tropical version. Get frozen fruit (something with mango and/or pineapple), pour in a bit of orange juice then (and this is the kicker) add some ginger ale. Ginger will add that "burn" and warmth that booze typically brings (when I made this for a friend, she thought it was a real one...don't worry, she wasn't sober). Add in more juice or water to keep the blender blending, adjusting to your taste/preference. Get some chips, guacamole and mango salsa, and you're halfway to summer. xo
Ooooo...thanks for this, Sandra (or is it Sandra Ann?)! I’m going to try it this weekend and pair it with some fresh pico de gallo.
Cheers, Holly. And it's Sandra, Sandra Ann or SAM...but not Sandi. ;) xo
Don't worry--I'm the friend who would *never* call you Sandi. ;)
Love it! Thank you!!! xo
Thank you for the insightful piece. I did it all backward--I was a hard-ass scold about alcohol when I was younger, then started drinking wine after being introduced to it in my late 20's. I don't think I'm going to give it up, but you have raised my consciousness about the trade-offs!
I definitely don’t knock those who enjoy a drink and don’t let it take from their life. For me, it just wasn’t good for me or the purpose I’m trying to serve here in my community. Thanks for joining the discussion!
Yes, what made your story work is the lack of judgement.