If Tony wants to find his "Mrs. Anderson", he will. I didn't find mine until I was in my 40s and it was a great reminder that things aren't always on the OUR timetable. It's nice to read that your life seems to be firing on all cylinders and heading in a great direction :) All the best!
I agree, Mark! I’m such an impatient person, and the waiting is where I am learning. I’m thankful to have found Mr. Right when I was 32, but parenting has thrown my imagined timetable right out the window.
So happy you found your Mrs. in due time, and thanks for the well wishes!
I love everything about this post, Holly - thank you for the gift of it. Your third question - gosh, this is exactly the right week for you to have asked it, so thank you. As a family we're working on this one right now. As for setting the table for someone who's not there - I've never done this, although for high days and holidays we do take care to include in our dinner table conversation those who are missing. It would be nice to take this further, though, so thank you for the great suggestion.
Love these stories and the symbolism of setting a place at the table for future and past loved ones. For four years when the kids were in middle school, we rented an old duplex without a dishwasher, so we got out of the habit of setting the table at all! We still ate together around the table, but we served up from the stove (avoided dirtying serving dishes we’d have to wash by hand). A good friend moved to the East coast this year -- she’d love it if we set a place for her at Thanksgiving!
One of my favorite soups to make is split pea. I make it with Italian sausage instead of ham (better flavor), and it’s stick-to-the-spoon thick, more like a stew. So good.
Mike’s mom makes split pea, and everyone loves it...except me. I’m just not a fan of the English pea taste. But perhaps with enough Italian sausage...🤔
The plant world is bursting with soup options during fall - too many to isolate a favorite, so I will simply say fall soups…the category itself is my favorite...
I've never made a table setting intentionally for someone who couldn't attend. It feels odd, yet strangely cool and respectful.
Interesting...and somehow, you have found a way to invade my mind. I'm writing about sweet potatoes this week. One of the recipes I'm considering is my urban garden-inspired Sweet Potato and Jerusalem Artichoke Soup with a hint of spice from my jalapenos...it's a beautiful soup to look at and savor on any given cold autumn night.
Thanks for this beautiful post. It reminds me of how meals can be such healing, spiritually recuperative times. These days, I feel like I'm rushing through everything, so this is nice reminder to slow down.
Yesterday and this morning was rush! rush! rush! Then I came home and began my long-awaited preparation of Jack’s slow-roasted tomato sauce. While it has cooked in the oven (4 hours!), I have read, listened to music, and given myself a nice soak in the tub. I resisted the urge to find the next thing I needed to do.
Tell Tony that my partner didn't meet me until 39, and we're happily in love and enjoying life together years later. Mrs. Anderson is out there! It'll be worth the wait, as my partner says :)
You mentioned Elijah. On the night of the Passover seder we are commanded to drink 4 cups of wine. We pour a fifth, not consumed, that is left on the table during the meal. This is Elijah's cup. Jewish tradition holds that Elijah will appear before the final redemption. In a sense we are setting a place for Elijah ("Have a cup of wine friend. We've been waiting for you for a long time.").
We have a nephew struggling. He was never a shell though, just too high too many times. Maybe it is because the street drugs here in Israel are not as potent. Best wishes for your son's recovery.
Thanks for the info on the Passover seder, Ehud. I’ve dipped into a book on Jewish feasts and, of course, read about them in the Bible, but I’m certainly no expert! (I reference a passage of that book in “Choosing the Wrong Path” (https://hollyrabalais.substack.com/p/choosing-the-wrong-path).
I love this idea of holding space for Elijah, of saying “welcome, we’ve been waiting for you.” And any feast that commands you to drink 4 glasses of wine, well...sounds kind of lovely!🤣
The drug situation here is terrible. I share my son’s story because I want parents to know it can happen to any kid, no matter what home life they have. Never say “Not my child.” His was a graduation from the no-big-deal stuff to swiping pills from medicine cabinets to popping a pill at a party that was laced with fentanyl. Horrible! When I consider the miracle that he is still with us, it makes me more passionate about helping other parents who are walking through a similar hell.
Thanks for adding your thoughts. I’m glad for the discussion!
I have never put out a table setting, but I do envision that I am cooking with my dear friend Julie when I cook one of her recipes. I have posted about that on my old site, but will likely repost that or rewrite it at some point. Your soup recipe sounds good, will have to try that. Sending prayers for the 90 day test! 💟
After several days of temps in the 30s (and more than a few flurries), we're back in the upper 70s this weekend. I'll take it!
I don't eat a whole lot of soup, but our station had a fundraiser for BCRF on Thursday. $5 got you a grilled cheese and a bowl of soup. I had tomato bisque. It might be my new favorite!
As for reanimation, my mom is pushing 75, but basically stopped living about 25 years ago. Never really left the house, no traveling, etc. She's out here now, and for the first time since maybe the mid 60s, has no one to care for, and no one to answer to. I had high hopes that she'd use this last chapter to just...I dunno, exhale? It hasn't happened yet. We'll see.
BCRF is the best reason to go all in on a meal you don’t normally love, and I made grilled cheese sandwiches last night to go with some tomato basil soup I cooked a couple of days ago. So comforting!
Sending prayers that your mom will learn to exhale. It’s hard to unlearn doing for everyone else when that’s what you’ve done for so long. My mom is a bit the same with not taking the plunge. She’s talked about trips she’s wanted to take for years but seems to find reasons she can’t. She and my dad divorced about 8 years ago and both remarried. He and his wife adventure together. My mom and her husband stay pretty close to home. Maybe the lifestyles work for each of them. Maybe they both found reanimation in their own ways. 🤷🏻♀️
Thank you for the prayers and energy! She can definitely use it! The food was good, but I usually eat lunch alone (my workflow is a bot off from everyone else's). This was a great chance to share a meal with people I don't normally get to eat with.
Such a great question....Am I returning to life? I think I am. It's teeny tiny right now, but that's okay. It reminds me of imagining little fairies who live in the moss (I have thought this since I was little) and that they were/are living this whole life that we "big ones" are completely unaware of until we live through a hellish experience that feels it will never end, and then there's that glimmer of hope.
If Tony wants to find his "Mrs. Anderson", he will. I didn't find mine until I was in my 40s and it was a great reminder that things aren't always on the OUR timetable. It's nice to read that your life seems to be firing on all cylinders and heading in a great direction :) All the best!
I agree, Mark! I’m such an impatient person, and the waiting is where I am learning. I’m thankful to have found Mr. Right when I was 32, but parenting has thrown my imagined timetable right out the window.
So happy you found your Mrs. in due time, and thanks for the well wishes!
I love everything about this post, Holly - thank you for the gift of it. Your third question - gosh, this is exactly the right week for you to have asked it, so thank you. As a family we're working on this one right now. As for setting the table for someone who's not there - I've never done this, although for high days and holidays we do take care to include in our dinner table conversation those who are missing. It would be nice to take this further, though, so thank you for the great suggestion.
❤️
Baked potato soup and chili (with NO beans and several different meats) are always favorites in our house.
Multi-meat chili sounds interesting!
Pulled pork, some kind of beef, and bacon.
It's amazing.
YUM!
I make a humble soup with carrots, onions, celery, potatoes, salt, pepper, and some rosemary. Calms the soul on a dark autumn night.
That sounds delicious, Nikhi!
I see you have accidentally discovered my mother's term of endearment for me. 🥰
Oh my! I missed the "l"...but we'll just call it a serendipitous wink from your mom, wherever she may be. :)
Have you ever invited a real live lady to share the table with your pal Tony?
Not yet, but believe me--I am on the hunt! She can’t be just any ol’ gal, and pickings are slim around here.
Love these stories and the symbolism of setting a place at the table for future and past loved ones. For four years when the kids were in middle school, we rented an old duplex without a dishwasher, so we got out of the habit of setting the table at all! We still ate together around the table, but we served up from the stove (avoided dirtying serving dishes we’d have to wash by hand). A good friend moved to the East coast this year -- she’d love it if we set a place for her at Thanksgiving!
One of my favorite soups to make is split pea. I make it with Italian sausage instead of ham (better flavor), and it’s stick-to-the-spoon thick, more like a stew. So good.
Mike’s mom makes split pea, and everyone loves it...except me. I’m just not a fan of the English pea taste. But perhaps with enough Italian sausage...🤔
My fall soup is homemade chili with hamburger and kidney beans. I haven't had it in years though. I miss it.
Yum! Chili! I haven’t made chili in a while. I may have to put that in rotation.
Okay, I HAVE to see the Molly Ringwalds! Like NOW!
Second, good luck with your brother. My thoughts are with him and you.
Finally, lovely tradition of setting the table for those who aren't with us for whatever reason.
They were so much fun!
The plant world is bursting with soup options during fall - too many to isolate a favorite, so I will simply say fall soups…the category itself is my favorite...
I've never made a table setting intentionally for someone who couldn't attend. It feels odd, yet strangely cool and respectful.
I also love fall soups--one of my favorites is a sweet potato jalapeño bisque!
Interesting...and somehow, you have found a way to invade my mind. I'm writing about sweet potatoes this week. One of the recipes I'm considering is my urban garden-inspired Sweet Potato and Jerusalem Artichoke Soup with a hint of spice from my jalapenos...it's a beautiful soup to look at and savor on any given cold autumn night.
Thanks for the suggestion. It's always my pleasure to write about Julie.
Thanks for this beautiful post. It reminds me of how meals can be such healing, spiritually recuperative times. These days, I feel like I'm rushing through everything, so this is nice reminder to slow down.
Yesterday and this morning was rush! rush! rush! Then I came home and began my long-awaited preparation of Jack’s slow-roasted tomato sauce. While it has cooked in the oven (4 hours!), I have read, listened to music, and given myself a nice soak in the tub. I resisted the urge to find the next thing I needed to do.
slow roasted tomato sauce....mmmmm
Tell Tony that my partner didn't meet me until 39, and we're happily in love and enjoying life together years later. Mrs. Anderson is out there! It'll be worth the wait, as my partner says :)
Love this, Eb! I will be sure to tell him!
Just about any bean soup.
You mentioned Elijah. On the night of the Passover seder we are commanded to drink 4 cups of wine. We pour a fifth, not consumed, that is left on the table during the meal. This is Elijah's cup. Jewish tradition holds that Elijah will appear before the final redemption. In a sense we are setting a place for Elijah ("Have a cup of wine friend. We've been waiting for you for a long time.").
We have a nephew struggling. He was never a shell though, just too high too many times. Maybe it is because the street drugs here in Israel are not as potent. Best wishes for your son's recovery.
Thanks for the info on the Passover seder, Ehud. I’ve dipped into a book on Jewish feasts and, of course, read about them in the Bible, but I’m certainly no expert! (I reference a passage of that book in “Choosing the Wrong Path” (https://hollyrabalais.substack.com/p/choosing-the-wrong-path).
I love this idea of holding space for Elijah, of saying “welcome, we’ve been waiting for you.” And any feast that commands you to drink 4 glasses of wine, well...sounds kind of lovely!🤣
The drug situation here is terrible. I share my son’s story because I want parents to know it can happen to any kid, no matter what home life they have. Never say “Not my child.” His was a graduation from the no-big-deal stuff to swiping pills from medicine cabinets to popping a pill at a party that was laced with fentanyl. Horrible! When I consider the miracle that he is still with us, it makes me more passionate about helping other parents who are walking through a similar hell.
Thanks for adding your thoughts. I’m glad for the discussion!
On my latest I touch in the end on Jewish repentance.
https://ehudneor.substack.com/p/the-last-time-i-ate-treif
Oooo! I’ll check it out--thanks!
I have never put out a table setting, but I do envision that I am cooking with my dear friend Julie when I cook one of her recipes. I have posted about that on my old site, but will likely repost that or rewrite it at some point. Your soup recipe sounds good, will have to try that. Sending prayers for the 90 day test! 💟
Do post about Julie--would love to read that story! Thanks for the prayers!
After several days of temps in the 30s (and more than a few flurries), we're back in the upper 70s this weekend. I'll take it!
I don't eat a whole lot of soup, but our station had a fundraiser for BCRF on Thursday. $5 got you a grilled cheese and a bowl of soup. I had tomato bisque. It might be my new favorite!
As for reanimation, my mom is pushing 75, but basically stopped living about 25 years ago. Never really left the house, no traveling, etc. She's out here now, and for the first time since maybe the mid 60s, has no one to care for, and no one to answer to. I had high hopes that she'd use this last chapter to just...I dunno, exhale? It hasn't happened yet. We'll see.
BCRF is the best reason to go all in on a meal you don’t normally love, and I made grilled cheese sandwiches last night to go with some tomato basil soup I cooked a couple of days ago. So comforting!
Sending prayers that your mom will learn to exhale. It’s hard to unlearn doing for everyone else when that’s what you’ve done for so long. My mom is a bit the same with not taking the plunge. She’s talked about trips she’s wanted to take for years but seems to find reasons she can’t. She and my dad divorced about 8 years ago and both remarried. He and his wife adventure together. My mom and her husband stay pretty close to home. Maybe the lifestyles work for each of them. Maybe they both found reanimation in their own ways. 🤷🏻♀️
Thank you for the prayers and energy! She can definitely use it! The food was good, but I usually eat lunch alone (my workflow is a bot off from everyone else's). This was a great chance to share a meal with people I don't normally get to eat with.
Such a great question....Am I returning to life? I think I am. It's teeny tiny right now, but that's okay. It reminds me of imagining little fairies who live in the moss (I have thought this since I was little) and that they were/are living this whole life that we "big ones" are completely unaware of until we live through a hellish experience that feels it will never end, and then there's that glimmer of hope.
Tiny fairies--I like that visual!